THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.
izaya’s cake ffff
Dammit, it was supposed to be a surprise!
ATTENTION ALL SHIZAYA SHIPPERS!!!
LIVE ACTION MAKEOUT SESSION FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE.
Damn that guy ruined it
IT WAS GETTING GOOD!!
I still think they shouldn’t have gone for the floor… it usually draws unwanted attention (well maybe they wanted it?) aaaaaaaand then of course they would get interrupted.
But damn that was a long
hotmake out session.
Ashley we are next.
Someone asked me that and I beat him within an inch of his life.
…and are willing to share it with people that want to get to know you or RP :)
just ask, it’s yours!
Requested by anonymous
Pairing: Tsugaru x Izaya
Orihara Izaya was a fragile being.
Tsugaru could see it, even when Izaya was yelling at him, red eyes ablaze with anger and fists clenched, shaking. Yet the blonde would remain calm—one of them had to—and let him get his anger out, listen to his yelling, being so understanding.
And then when Izaya was calm, when he would just spit venom without changing his expression, Tsugaru would still be the same, relaxed and nonchalant, listening to his insults without taking any of them to heart.
Then when Izaya finally fell silent, Tsugaru would reach out and pull the Orihara towards him, holding the slender man to his body and hug him until he fell asleep, closing his eyes and enjoying holding the other.
He understood because Izaya was fragile; if he kept his emotions bottled up he would crack at the edges, destruction overwhelming him.
But I’ll hold you together.
Ugh, another one and this time he was stuttering! He had a reputation to uphold in this city! “Why are you stuttering! You’re Orihara Izaya, you’re me! I do not stutter!” It was almost as if he was throwing a hissy fit.